U17s ease past Osterley

Comedy. What would we do without it? If I’m ever invited onto Desert Island Discs (it won’t happen), a DVD player and my Pink Panther box set would be at the top of my list of things to take. So sad as I was to read the obituary of Burt Kwouk (the magnificent Cato) a couple of weeks ago it didn’t half make me chuckle. I can see him now springing from the freezer to attack Clouseau: arms outstretched, icicles on his eye brows. The stuff of legend…..they don’t make them like that anymore. Still, he outlived Peter Sellers (Inspector Clouseau, in the unlikely event that you’re not familiar with him) by more than three decades. What a loss he was.

I realise that you probably have little interest in my slightly puerile sense of humour, but this preamble is not entirely without relevance as the U17 cup semi-final also delivered plenty to make me smile. That’s not to say that it was a comedic performance. Far from it. This was a comprehensive victory, and all the more praiseworthy for being on a tricky pitch against tough opposition. But the story of the match contains a trio of classic comedy moments……

Osterley won the toss and decided to bat first. The pitch looked worn and dodgy. The weather was overcast and cold. Very cold. Aeroplanes leaving Heathrow were passing directly overhead. Pity the umpire having to detect a faint edge with a Jumbo 2,000 feet above.

In the first couple of overs although Osterley’s openers were struggling to get bat on ball, Munjot and Josh were having radar configuration problems of their own and the score rattled along to 16 off 2 overs. Munjot found his rhythm and usual late away swing in the third over, and induced a wild swing off the last ball which resulted in a thick edge that ballooned over the captain’s head at midwicket……COMEDY MOMENT NUMBER 1….. Stefan retreated and with Adam sprinting towards the ball from mid-on, a nasty collision looked inevitable until they both hesitated at the last moment. Stefan – still running backwards – stuck his arms up, doing an excellent impression of a man practising his backstroke as the ball came down. Incredibly it stuck in his outstretched hand. You couldn’t make it up.

Although we continued to bowl too many wides, the pressure built on the batsmen, especially after Munjot opened his next over with a superb outswinger which was nicked behind to Freddie. 26 for 2 after 6 overs became 47 for 2 after 10 with Osterley apparently poised to accelerate, but Stefan and George reined them in with a wicket in each of the next 4 overs, including Hamid (Osterley’s U16 county player) who fell to a gem of a leg break which drew him down the wicket and spun past the outside edge. Freddie whipped the bails off and Hamid trudged back to Osterley’s impressive new changing rooms.

That left the score at 58 for 6 after 14 and Ealing well on top. But our 4 regular bowlers had only 2 overs left between them meaning that 4 of the last 6 had to come from the part-time bowlers. Step forward Adam Beeston. He started with a wide but within 4 balls picked up a wicket LBW. And then it got better and better. There were signs of rust, but Adam proved unplayable. The full balls could only be nudged and nurdled. The long hops (of which there were plenty) were missed or mistimed.
And so we come to COMEDY MOMENT NUMBER TWO…… the second ball of Adam’s second over pitched half way down, skidded on and bounced a second time just in front of the batsman who – utterly bemused – could only jam his bat down on it and watch horrified as it dribbled towards and onto the stumps. The bails were dislodged and the poor batsman had to go.

Adam cleaned up the innings with two more shortish deliveries which were lobbed into the outfield and pouched by George and Oliver.

We had set ourselves the objective of restricting Osterley to less than 100, so 82 all out was a pretty good outcome. But the pitch was not easy and we expected their bowling to be better than their batting, so nobody was expecting the run chase to be easy. Sam and Louis saw off an uneventful first over and Sam biffed the last two balls of the second over mid off for a couple of boundaries, and we were well placed a 14 for 0 after two overs. Things didn’t look quite as rosy after Sam was bowled by a brilliant slower ball in the third over, and even less so by the end of the fourth after Freddie had delivered COMEDY MOMENT NUMBER THREE. Busy as ever and looking to put pressure on the fielders, Freddie drove the fifth ball he faced sweetly into the covers and set off for a single. Sadly he hadn’t noticed that he’d hit the ball straight to Osterley’s star player and probably the best fielder on the pitch. Sensibly, Louis declined to run, and before Fred had the time to stop and turn around the ball had been returned to the keeper and he was run out. Head down, bat under his arm, Fred strode purposefully back to the nice new changing room. Oops.

16 for 2 doesn’t sound great, but we only needed another 67 to win from the best part of 17 overs so weren’t under any real pressure. Louis and Oliver saw off the opening bowlers and then started to up the scoring rate, finding gaps in the field and taking singles and twos through some aggressive running. The 50 came up in the 11th over but Oliver was immediately bowled bringing debutant Shoaib to the wicket. He took singles to keep the scoreboard ticking over, allowing Louis to pick off the second string bowlers. A flurry of boundaries in the 15th over saw us over the line.

A good win which takes us to the south area final, and a decent performance with a few things to work on. Well done to all eleven players.

Osterley 82 all out from 18.5 overs
(Adam 4 for 10; Munjot 2 for 9; Stefan 2 for 12; George 2 for 19)

Ealing 85 for 3 from 15 overs
(Louis 42 not out)

Ealing won by 7 wickets